Officially a Cow

Thursday - 5.16.2013

It's bad enough that when your breastfeeding you pretty much become an endless milk/feeding machine and yes I agree it's bonding time, better for your baby and the cheaper than formula. Don't get me wrong I'm not by any means knocking it, heck I'm doing it right now as I type but now they make this handy little device that sucks the milk right out of you like milking a cow!

Along with the actual milk machine they make a bra you can wear that straps the pumps right to your chest so you can be hands free while pumping, letting you do all the endless task moms need to do! I had never seen one of these genius bras until just a few weeks ago when I had the dilemma of trying to type while I pump.

For all of you who aren't and have never been a cow before, let me explain how pumping works without wearing this bra. Pumping can make a giant mess, well so can nursing for that matter, but lets stay on topic. If you set the pumps on the table in front of you, you have to remain absolutely, perfectly still so they don't slip off the table. Although they are suctioned to your boobs, the grip is not air tight and they fall off at the slightest movement, causing whatever milk is in the cups to spill all over you. They also have to be positioned at the perfect level to avoid loss of suction which also causes spillage.  Fantastic perfume your wearing, whats it called? Spoiled breast-milk, thanks!

So with this bra... well just look at the picture you get the point. What I think is hilarious is how causal the women in these pictures are. Oh yeah I'm at work, in an office building, where people are walking in and out, with my cow utters hanging out being milked.

Or this one, yes I''m 15, never actually had a baby so I have a completely flat tummy and I wear elegant party gloves while I pump! Very clever name though, "Breast Fest at Tiffany's" sounds like a place only men dream about not a bra for pumping breast-milk! 

This one is my favorite. Yes the bra does make it easier to pump but I'm not going to the office in it like this! Not just for the fact that it resemble the corsets I use to wear 10 years ago to go clubbing but mostly for the fact that my nipples are being sucked 5 inches into CLEAR tubes and can be seen from a mile away! Not happening, in fact that only reason I didn't model this awesome bra myself! 

Anyway if you have the need to be milked like a cow like me and want to make it easier on yourself pick up one of these "makes life easier for milking mommies utters" bras.

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