Thursday, February 12, 2015

Motherhood Woes

I know it been a few months since I have written a blog post, I've had a bit of writers block. I'm bored with what I was doing and nothing exciting has been happening. I don't want to just sit and complain about how crappy I feel with fibromyalgia and these crazy sever migraines, who wants to read about that?!?!

But that's all that has been happening. I know they say to be a good blog writer you have to make exciting things happen and I use to be a very funky fun person, but you know, then I started to blog!

Once there was I time when blogging took over my world, it became a passion that overstep all
boundaries. Then one day it just stopped. I didn't feel like trying to keep up. I realized this is a race you don't win or lose, you're just in. I was neglecting what really matter most in my life. Or maybe it was that blogging was such a great escape from reality that I become enthralled in it. I needed a place to go, but at the expense of my everything.


Things got a little rocky there for a minute.... A really long minute. I was just stabilizing into a new marriage with two kids and than added another. Then it hit me like a wrecking ball, things aren't so stable. I wasn't stable. My emotions had been fried from the wild ride I had been on. When I thought I was finally thinking straight, I had let the most important things slip thought the cracks. My husband, children and me. Who am I?

Where did that upbeat, fun loving girl go that I used to be. Now I look in the mirror and I see the
mean old Red Queen screaming at everyone " Always MY way!" Is motherhood just setting in? Did having 3 kids just sap me of every fun cell within my being? Is this it?

No it can't be! I have to be in there somewhere. I can be me and be a mom too... right? I tell myself if I just get out of these sweatpants and dress like a real person, I might have more exciting adventures. But then I remember none of my jeans fit me because I'm still not pre-baby body. To much work. When did going to the gym and getting outside to enjoy a little fresh air become such a chore? Am I just having a mid life motherhood crisis!?!

Don't get me wrong I love my kids. I love when they smile and laugh and play and sing, but lets be honest there is alot of crap that sucks about being a parent. I guess I am just coming to grips with that. When I had just one it was SO easy, now I see why they say you're not really a parent until you have at least 2! With 3 though my brain is mush, my pants are sweats and my house is a constant circus of complete chaos. I use to be up my son's butt about homework and manners, now I'm lucky if I can get him and the Dormouse to school on time! Homework, what homework?!

Am I the only mom that feels like motherhood swallowed them alive? Tell me it gets better...



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Thanks for sharing another adventure with me!
Stay safe, stay sane and stay absolutely splendid!

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