Saturday, August 9, 2014

What is love?

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Have you ever had a moment in life when it hits you? When you realize your life is all upside down and the person you were is no longer the person you are. And the person you want to be seems much further away than you thought you were...

What am I rambling about?

It's almost 5 am, I've been laying awake since 3:30 with one thing on my mind, what is love? Not the lovey dovey between man and woman kind of love. But the kind of love that holds this world together even if at the moment it's by strings. Why am I laying awake thinking about something so deep?

Recently I learned some thing about myself that made me less than happy. But after reflecting on what I was told I realized the person I have been portraying to be is not at all the person I want to be. People say "that's just how she is" or "just be you", but what if you don't like who you are, what if you want to change who you are for the better of yourself and those around you. It's a hard process, but more importantly you don't have to just except the assertion that "this is who I am just going to deal with it."

A lot of people throw around the scripture 1 Corinthians 13:8 "Love never fails" but fail to focus on the scriptures just before that, explaining how you personally have to take action. Some very good friends of ours helped to give me some new but old understanding of it. I've read these scriptures a thousand times in my life, I'm sure, but never stopped to REALLY reflect on what they meant until now and I'm sure it won't be the last time.

Here's what the scriptures before 8 say, just in case your wondering:

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous. It does not brag, does not get puffed up, 5 does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. 6 It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails. 

If the whole world practiced just these few scriptures, if every person in the world applied just this... Could you imagine? Yes, love would never fail!

I have a much clearer grasp on which things I personally need to work on after our discussion. That's what's keeping me awake, is now that I know where I am weak, I am noticing more and more when and where it's happening. Thinking to myself "Why did I say that?" or "Why couldn't I just keep my mouth closed?" I know why, because I need a lot more practice! It's not something that comes easy. But being conscience of it is the first step in fixing it, right? 

So now the question is "Who am I really?" I thought I knew, but here I am at 30 years old having an epiphany that I really don't know myself... at all. So I guess the only logical question to follow is "Who do I want to be?"  

Thanks for sharing another adventure with me!
Stay safe, stay sane and stay absolutely splendid!

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