Monday, October 1, 2012

Moment for Mommy

Monday - 10.1.12

Three year already! My daughter turned three yesterday and although we don't make a big deal about birthday's in our family, I thought it would be nice to reflect on the last three years. Amazing how much has happened in here short three years. When I look at her and see features of her biological father, sperm donor, the Jabberywocky, I think to myself how did something so beautiful come from someone with such black heart?

She has turned into such a little person already. She talks better than most adults and has more street smarts than most too! Her favorite band is the Lumineers and of course her favorite song is by them too "Ho Hey". I turn them on and she goes crazy yelling "Ho Hey, Ho Hey, I want that song!" She's very dramatic and very much a princess. She always knows just what too say to get herself out of trouble and already knows just how to work people with a smile and batting her eyelashes. I have no idea where she has learned all those girly things... =) But she's very much a tom boy too just like me. She loves playing with trucks in the dirt. Running, jumping, swimming, bugs, animals and getting dirty are a few of her favorite things.

Being pregnant again I've been thinking a lot about how miserable being married to the Jabberywocky really was and how it caused my pregnancy with her to be equally as miserable. I'm not going to give to much attention to him as he doesn't deserve to even be mentioned but I'll give the short story. Our whole marriage he was cheating on me, my so-called friends at the time knew all along and said nothing. He had no job, weaseled his way into moving in with me, marrying me and driving (ultimately destroying) my truck and then would leave for days at a time, turning off his phone and having no explanation as to where he would had gone. Two weeks after my daughter was born I was finally informed he was sleeping with someone we hung out with, he moved in with her and started using her. Good riddance! He pays a measly $100 a month in child support that if it weren't for the state I wouldn't get at all and hasn't seen the Dormouse in 2 years. There that's the short story.

Because of all that none stop chaos this poor baby wanted to be born while I was only six months pregnant! Started having I wanna push contraction consequently every time he would leave. I was on bed rest for the last three months of the pregnancy. She was born only two weeks early thank goodness. I balled harder then a new born baby when they put her in my arms and saw how gorgeous she was. Nothing else mattered. I was a single mom of two and happy to have them. Both my kids keep me on earth and sometimes I forget that. They keep me sober, kind-hearted, peaceful and grounded. What I would do without them I just can't imagine. I would never trade even on the most crazy, insane day for not having them.

Everything became perfect though when my very good friend of 15 years asked to marry me and my kids. Now she has an awesome daddy who takes care of her every need. I'm so thankful I have her, my son, my amazing husband and my little bun in the oven!

Thanks for sharing another adventure with me!

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  1. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, but am so happy at how well things are turning out for you now that the black-hearted sperm-donor is out of the picture. $100 a month IS a joke--I'll never understand people. My own father never paid child support and I haven't see him since I was four. I consider my step father my real father and I am pretty sure your kids will do the same. They are so blessed to be as loved as they are--any sadness they may have about the sperm-donor will fade with time. I was also a preemie and have never been small since. I just realized that I keep telling you things about ME to make you feel better about things with your kids. So now you are going to worry that your kids will turn into middle-aged-whinos who complain about their own kids through blogging every day! I suppose it could be worse...

  2. I love that you call him sperm donor.. My oldest's has been called donor her entire existence. I'm glad it is working out now...3 is the best age, they are little and cute but not too little- perfect.