Monday, September 30, 2013

Questioning my right to motherhood

Monday - 9.30.2013

Have you ever done something that accidentally put your child's life in danger? As parents it's our job to keep our kids safe, to keep them out of harms way at all cost. So when you do something or forget to do something, well, I can only begin to tell you how it makes you doubt your right to parenthood.

Yesterday I had such a terror strike me. Thank goodness the worse didn't happen. I'm hesitate to write this, in fact its hard to write this, it's taken me all day. As I type my fingers tremble. I know the criticism to follow, I beg you go easy on me, I spent the last two days crying and I'm still very upset.

You know those commercials that start airing at the beginning of the summer reminding you not to forget your babies in the car? And when you see one, you think to yourself I would never, ever do that! Who could forget their baby. It would never happen to me. Well I'm here to say it happens to the best of us.

Yesterday morning the Rosebud and I were off running errands, just us two, the other kids were home with dad. We stopped to visit a friend, than to Costco. When I left my friends house I got on the phone with my mom (through my sync system of course), I pulled up to Costco still on the phone and jumped out of the car. The baby had fallen asleep. It didn't even cross my mind! I ran into Costco for the pasta salad I order for a going away party we were going to later, jumped in line and ran out. Ten minutes tops.

As I opened the back door to put the pasta salad in, my heart stopped. I saw her laying there in her car seat, just praying to God she was still alive. I jumped in the car and thrust my hand out to her chest. She jumped but stayed asleep. I cried. I just sat in the backseat starring at my baby, balling and praying to God "Why oh why did you bestow so much responsibility on me? I'm not fit to be a mother!"

My precious little love
How could I forget I had a baby in the car!?! How? I can't even fathom how I could forget. My babies mean the world to me!

I called my mom first just sobbing uncontrollably, she calmed me down enough for me to get in the car and start driving home. I was afraid to tell my husband, not that he'd be mad, but that he may never again trust me with our children. How could he? Now I don't trust myself! But I called him, as I drove home, he was calm and understanding, desperately trying to keep me calm so I could get home.

When I did get home, I got the baby out of her car seat and just held her tight. I walked in the house, makeup running down my face, clutching my baby girl. My husband and mother greeted me at the door, I practically throw the baby at my husband and hit my knees, crying so hard I was nearly hyperventilating. My mom pulled me up trying to comfort me and thats when I realized I was going to vomit.

Once I finally did calm down, it really sank in just how bad that lapse in memory could have been. I could be mourning my 5 month old's death. I would not have been able to live with myself. As I told my mother later, if that would have happened she'd be burying me too or checking me into a mental institution. I can't get the image out of my head, seeing her there, thinking she was dead.

My mom did try to make me feel better by reminding me that Mary and Joseph forgot Jesus in Bethlehem and only remember him after a relative informed them of his absents after 3 DAYS of traveling! Thanks mom!

I will do everything in my power to keep this from happening again and hope that this serves as a reminder to my readers to always check the back seat before you walk away.  I never thought I'd be the one I'd need to keep my kids safe from.

I blame my being distracted and the fact that I'm stressed out over the situation at home. I have made a promise to myself to not use talking on the phone as free time while driving, even if it is handsfree! I also downloaded an app called "Don't Forget Your Baby". It's available on Androids and connects through your Bluetooth. I'm even tempted to buy IAlert Car Seat, it has sensors in it that communicate with an app on your phone. It's $300 but apparently I need it and it's well worth it!

I read I comment from another blog on this subject, where the mom said she leaves her purse in the backseat every time she gets in the car, that way she has to go back there to get it. I will start doing that.

I'm afraid to ask for comments, but please if you do choose to comment, be nice. I'm already in more than enough mental anguish over it.

Thanks for sharing another adventure with me!
Stay safe, stay sane and stay absolutely splendid!

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Sunday, September 29, 2013

Homemade Healthy Snacks To Go Tutorial

Sunday - 9.29.2013



Every mom worries about their kids eating healthy. Well at least having some type of healthy food in their day! Seems like everywhere you look now a days the produce providers are capitalizing on this fact. They package slices apples, carrots and celery for the easy grab and go. Don't get me wrong I buy them, only to throw out half of them away because my kids forget we have them. The thing I don't care for, is that they turn a healthy snack into just another junk food with all the preservative they spray on them.

So I decided to make my own! Using only lemon juice (from my own lemon tree) as a preservative. I read online that lemon juice keeps apples from turning brown, so we'll see if it works.  I used my food sealer to package them. Yea that one over there ===>

With the apples I put some peanut butter in a little 1 oz plastic cup for dipping. Then sealed it in with the apples. With the celery I put peanut butter and raisins on the AKA ants on a log and sealed them. Wrote the date on them and put them in the fridge! Totally easy and no preservative!



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Stay safe, stay sane and stay absolutely splendid!

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Friday, September 27, 2013

Friday's Fave #35

Friday - 9.27.2013




It's been a blah week, but I won't bore you. In fact I don't even have much to write because I'm in a funk. It's taken me all morning to write this. I'm melancholy today. I know why. I see the kids I look at like siblings making dumb decisions and it breaks my heart. The pain and frustration they will end seeing because of it. Today's 5 Minute Friday seems to fit in perfectly with it all.

So here's all my self promo crap in a nutshell:
How I make an income online ===> Empower Network
Stuff I'm promoting ====> giveaways and blogger opps
Monthly Contest ===> Follow The White Rabbit
News feeds ====> Just my BlogGiveaway and/or Blogger Opps 
Blog hop ===>  Tuesday's Tea Party or sign-up to co-host!

There you have it, let's move on!



I linked up with Lisa-Jo Barker for 5 Minute Friday. For this one she gives you a topic and you have to write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. So this weeks topic is...

True...

Ha ha 5 minutes is just enough time to scratch the surface of my life. So I will give you the speed version. I got pregnant at 17, was a single mom. Got married to a wonderful man when I was 19, he was killed in a car accident when I was 20. That tragic event led to my down fall. In a momentarily (lasting 5 years or so) case of insanity, I remarried at 21. He was controlling, OCD and only interested in the insurance money. After I left him I spun even more wildly out of control.

My mom would take my son for months at a time hoping I would get my act together. Then I got married again on a whim. I knew better but did it anyway. Than I got pregnant. Than I found out he had been cheating on me the entire time. Two weeks after my daughter as born, I left him.

Moved back in with my parents and ran into an old teenage crush. Finally another stable man. Got my life right and back on a righteous path. We got married 3 years ago (our anniversary is in 2 weeks). We had a baby together (5 months ago), making 3 for me.

I have had many struggles being a mom because of this past. Lot's of demons to over come. I feel like I have finally slowed down enough to actually be a mom, though. I ruined my son. He doesn't think so but wait til he's a teenager/adult and he needs therapy. My second daughter is only half way ruined, if I can learn to control my temper and balance my time, she still might have hope. The baby is going to be spoiled, she'll never see the mommy I use to be. I know one day I'll be better and the demons will be laid to rest and that's the day my youngest will get to enjoy.









This is such a cute idea. God knows I drink enough of these to do something creative with them! Thanks for sharing this and I'll have to post if I end up making any.






I'm feeling this post today. The Santa Anna winds have picked up here in So Cal, which tells me one thing, it's fall. I actually like the fall time with the beautiful change of colors and cooler weather. 



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Wednesday, September 25, 2013

WW: Zoo Day

Wednesday - 9.25.2013

My bestie and I went to the LA zoo this last weekend. 2 moms with 5 kids. It actually was as chaotic as it sounds! We had a lot of fun and got some great shots!

Bonus video at the bottom of money's doing what monkey's do. I thought it was pretty funny.

















video


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Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Tuesday's Tea Party #42

Tuesday - 9.24.2013



We all know blog hops are a great way to gain more followers, meet other bloggers and help each other grow. Don't forget to return the favor to those who follow you. Every Tuesday you can be sure this shin dig will be going on, so be sure to come on back.



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Stay safe, stay sane and stay absolutely splendid!

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Thursday, September 19, 2013

Friday's Fave #34

Friday - 9.20.2013




Wow this week went by so fast! We got so much done on the house, it feels so good! As you may have noticed I have been back to blogging on a more consistent basis and that feels good too. I have been listening to these motivation calls every day and man are they really helping me to stay focused and positive. I feel great!

Where my mama's at? If you really want to work from home, go here =====> Empower Network, plug in your email and watch the video. That's it,  that's all I'm gonna say!

Got tons of giveaways and blogger opps going on. Including a few new monthly contests and giveaways. Have you been keeping track? Follow The White Rabbit contest is in full swing, the 3 readers who keep track of him the most will win vacations, with the grand prize being a 8 day cruise to the Bahamas! Make sure you subscribe to the right news feed to receive weekly updates, sign up for 1 or all 3:

Remember you can receive a complimentary vacation just for checking out my business opportunity! And as usual, my blogging buddies should go link up over on Tuesday's Tea Party or even better sign-up to co-host!



I linked up with Lisa-Jo Barker for 5 Minute Friday. For this one she gives you a topic and you have to write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. So this weeks topic is...

She...

Wow I don't know why but when I saw Lisa's post about the word She and the picture she had posted with it, it instantly reminded me of my grandma's garden. She passed away almost two years ago. She was such a strong, faithful and little bit wacky woman. I really do miss her, mostly her wisdom and humor. She taught me so much about life. Always looking at things with laughter and jokes. She didn't take life too seriously.

Before things got really bad, she still looked real good here. That's my son, her, me and my hubby.
In the final months of her life we got to go up a visit her. As hard as it was seeing her deteriorate so quickly from the cancer, it also makes me smile thinking how silly she was. She made everyone sit in the living room (her 3 kids (one being my dad) and the 4 of the 6 grandchildren (myself included) and my two kids, which were her great grand kids) and put Oreo's on our foreheads and try to get the in our mouths with out using our hands. It was so funny.

She was so strong though facing death, she knew it was coming and just looked it square in the face and yelled "Bring it on!" Ok maybe not exactly like that, but she had such courage and faith it was so up building. One day when I see her again I will be able to tell her that her example lead the way for me.







OMG Becky I love this lady anyway, but I think I might love her a little more right now. This post is seriously funny! I have tried doing the annoying things my kids do back to them but this takes it to a whole new level. Usually my 4 year old just repeats herself til you just want to scream. So I'll do it back to her 100 times worse, till she's yelling at me to quit repeating myself. But pooping... really? Good job mom!



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